okay hi guys! i've not been posting for a long time, alot has been going on, school and cca and other stuff, including my grandmother's death and all that, this past 1 month is got to be the toughest month thus far of the year, which is why i havent been posting, not so much of nothing to post(TOO much has been happening) but more of a lack of mood, and i've basically just not been myself.
leading up to today my walk with God has been ridiculous, my quiet time has been ridiculously non existent, my prayers shallow and i would be so ashamed if God were to ask me what i am doing. All this while, something in my is just preventing me from being who im supposed to be, who i am and who i want to be. Today when i went for splash, i was once again reminded, miraculously of how God is good all the time, and he's always there, and its a matter of whether we want to go to him or not, i was actually saying these things in my prayer when i was praying with pastor eric, and i was doing it subconsciously, it was almost like God was MAKING me say those words.
then in cell, serene taught us about overcoming the crisis/obstacles in my lives, about how we cannot hide our feelings and we as humans were created to have emotion and sadness, its alrite to be sad and grieve, and today has just been a wake up session for me, im still struggling to finish my work, i havent started studying, im starting to get worried, i'm feeling tried, theres so much on my mind, things that i wouldnt normally care about, i'll be going "ah its all gonna work out fine! " but i've come to a point where things dont just WORK OUT, u gotta reach out and MAKE them WORK OUT, like we dont just GROW close with God by shaking our legs, we gotta GO to him and make the decision to grow close.
for all the people i have offended and been treating badly, yes yam you included lol, forgive me, i've just not been myself, the emoness and all that, i'm really ashamed to even consider the way i've been behaving over the last few weeks, what is there that God cannot accomplish? What is there that is too much for God?
i dont wanna mess around anymore. its time to get serious.
"in all things, God works for the good of those who love him and are called according to his will........."
