today was an amazing day. i woke up with a resolution, that i have screwed up my life enough and i wanna make the best use of it from now on to glorify God, i think i have let God down long enough and it really is time to wake up.
i woke up at 9am and for the first time in my jc life, i did work on a saturday morning, not just afew questions, i did 2 essays and my chem weekend homework. on saturday MORNING. thats more than i have done on a full saturday, in the past 1 year and 3 months. yeah, im still in shock.
then i went to church for youth, when i went into worship, my heart was stone-cold and i had no desire to be there whatsoever. singing cheery worship songs that require to clap and sway. and i was thinking, im so not in the mood for all these, but then i thought back about how in the past, when my walk was off alittle and i didnt feel like doing quiet time and that kinda stuff, i'll just let it pile up and my walk would turn horrendously wrong, so i just pushed myself and forced myself to focus on God.and i started singing, and before long i was crying.
during the verse "when the oceans rise and thunders roar, i will soar with you above the storm..." there was a crazy crazy thunder storm outside and the thunder was really really load, i just couldnt storm crying, it was as if God was talking to me, i just couldnt hold my emotions back. and im really glad that was the case.
after youth, i went to have dinner with lejon, and we had such a great talk, its amazing to have friends like him who is somewhat like an older brother to me. the things he say at times just fill me with awe at how mature a christian he is and how much i have to learn from him. but all Glory be to God.
after coming home, i ate dinner and napped awhile cos i was really tired, then i finished my KI long essay which i had been procrastinating for a long time. but that was after i did quiet time.
What is deemed a failure/obstacle by the world, was meant as a stepping stone for us by God.
is that not true?
Romans 8:37 In all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
God is really gracious. vulgarities have recently entered by life little by little because of how competitive and hot-tempered i am, so during volleyball trainings, i really cannot take it, even though i mouth it under my breath, it has become more and more prominent. but still God is willing to hold me close and forgive me.
I really think i have been wasting the past 17 years of my life slacking and TRYING to enjoy life when really all i have been doing, is messing myself up. Thank God i have awaken, and hopefully i stay awake for the rest of my life.
Dear Heavenly Father,
i thank You for constantly being there to watch over me and always forgiving me and holding me tight even though i let go off You for the things that dont matter. I pray that you will help me to change my ways and make me a disciple that glorifies and honours Your name. I thank You for the friends You have placed around me to remind me of my faults and my shortcomings. i pray that You will use me for Your great purpose in Your kingdom and You will guide me to do everything according to Your will. i continue to pray for my friends and family that You will bless them and raise them up that we can all glorify Your magnificent name.
All these i pray in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
I am awake.
