yesterday

yesterday i went to sentosa with the 4 lau sisters, timmy, zach lejon bert and yuetong, it was the most retarded outing to sentosa i have ever had in my life i tell you.

we were spose to meet at harbourfront mrt at 10.30am, lau sisters left their house at 10.25, timmy and i left queenstown at 10.30 and yuetong reached harbourfront at 9 plus. when we all gathered, it was 11.30. talk about punctuality.

the day before i suggested bringing monopoly to sentosa and we can play on the beach, cos it wld be so fun. it was the stupidest idea i have ever suggested in my life. when we reached sentosa, i opened the monopoly box and found there were no dice. so timmy took out his poker cards and used ace to queen as 1 to 12 and we just pick a card as our dice. gosh i already feel stupid typing about this. it was so dumb we got bored after 2 rounds.

then we played volleyball for 5 mins. captains ball for 10 mins, bridge for 4 minutes, and sat around and stoned. then charisse delisse elisse bert and i went to get food from 7 eleven. cup noodles in sentosa.. hm. great.

then charisse delisse and i went to rent bikes, and my bike was seriously messed up, i fell down twice, the first time when i was during a sharp turn on sandy concrete, the 2nd time when i was doing a sharper turn on sandier concrete. my injuries aint that bad, but its the worst ive had in years, i've got good fortune not getting injured, i guess falling of a bike 2wice shows my luck's running out. lol.

then we went to ABC brickworks hawker centre to eat dinner, its behind the ikea in queenstown, whoa, was my best meal in a long time i tell you, we were all eating like babarians, cept the sisters, lejon timmy zach bert and i were just ENJOYING man. we ALL spent like more than 10 bucks each. and u have to consider that its hawker centre prices, and the portions are way larger than normal places, in other words, we ate, ALOT.

was a fun day, but my injuries hurt lol who cares la huh. the year's ending, we're all growing older, im going emo. shucks. during the bus ride to ABC, charisse was talking to me about pastor eric talking to excons about relationships and stuff, got me thinking alot.
i may have gone alittle too far, but its never too late to stop.

HEY everybody! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YALL!

today i woke up late for church service, i reached church AFTER the service ended. just in time to get all my presents. NO i did not plan it, i overslept and nobody woke me up, i was LOOKING forward to the service hmph.

anyways my father's side family came down to singapore, my father's two sisters and his brother so it was like 19 people altogether wow! and to be honest it was one of my best christmas-es in recent years, i dunno why but it was really awesome, interacting with cousins and stuff, and to be honest, my siblings and i arent really close to my cousins, but today we really talked and just laughed and it was just a great time man.

we had lunch then we spent the whole day walking around vivo, then went for dinner at arcadia, then we went back to the hotel where my uncle and auntie were staying and we just talked nonsense, watched tv and laughed lol, really an awesome christmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS ONCE AGAIN TO YALL OUT THERE :D
and kimberly by the time you find my blog its probably year 2100, :) merry christmas 2100!

still no push to blog man, prolly gonna close it soon or sth. lol.

i just realised, the last time i posted was one month ago. where have i been?? what have i been doing??? okay i'm like talking to myself. man its been a mad ride the past month, i dunno where to start, i dont feel like typing, i dont feel like talking and i sure dont feel like blogging.

but since i have nothing to do anyway, might as well. havent been taking pictures and when i do , its all been posted onto facebook, yeah im into facebook now yeah, lol ever since i created facebook for ccaab pictures. so pictures from jenisse's birthday dinner, my taiwan trip, volleyball's sentosa trip and soon to be posted ywav camp photos, all up on facebook yeah.

with that i basically summed up everything impt that has happened over the past month. dunno what have i been up to, but seriously, everything other than physically, i've just been floating aimlessly like a ghost, and its sad, really sad. got my piorities all wrong, got the order all mixed up, lol i dunno whats impt to me now really, i mean, cept for God, everything esle is just a blur, and to be honest, im not all that holy polly. my eyes were opened during ywav camp, and seriously man, i've got some work to do.

i doubt anyone comes here anymore since i've not been blogging for so long. hahah is good, dont see no problem with it, cos i'm not posting no exciting entry here, im just a bored guy with nothing to do. i went to play soccer and eat dinner with jerome and company yesterday. he asked me what are the 4 most important things in my life now. NOW, at this current moment. i said God jerome Jenisse Jeremyam. of course things arent gonna always remain this way, but for now thats the way it is, in no particular order with regard to the latter 3.
i hope you like my christmas present for you.the truth


When thirst does not bother
Rivers and oceans surround
When plants begin wither
Not a well can be seen around

We cant stop for a rest
Knowing time waits for none
Almost seems like life’s a test
Too many things to be done

This nightmare never seems to end
Agonizingly each step we take
Guiding us, an invisible hand
Leading us all the way till we awake

The first 2 verses describe how i feel now, extremely tired, 80% emotionally, 20% spiritually, not gonna lie about it man. the last verse describes what i KNOW. God will deliver me, you, us, like he's always done.

Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged,

be strong and courageous

for the Lord your God

will be with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9

been a long while..

been super long since i last posted eh. for that matter its been super long since i've last VISITED this blog, no motivation, no drive to do anything, im like a floating ghost.. lol..

nothing to blog about, maybe one day i'll start blogging again, hi daniel and all the people who have been tagging, yes aiwee................


what am i supposed to do now? im tired of running.
after you or away. 2 paths.is it the time to give up?

why are we so weak.

i realised i have not posted for the longest time ever, not been updating, basically i've not even been coming to my blog. alot of things have been happening and i've simply had no mood whatsoever to come and pen down what has been going on in my life.


well PW oral presentation is over, chinese A levels is over, volleyball training has restarted, i became an ogl, we're gonna re-begin our ywav camp planning because the camp theme has been changed, yam's birthday just passed HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Jenisse's birthday is coming, Eric and Bell's wedding is coming, my grandma's birthday is coming.


those are just small little updates. to be honest, i dont even know why i didnt feel like blogging all this while, its almost as if blogging puts me off. My walk with God has been in its worst state ever the past month, but i know at the end of the day, all it takes is a conscious effort and discipline to return to God that will get me back on track, cos God never forsakes. i've been trying very hard to get back on track, to re-ignite that flame, and maybe thats the problem, doing all of it myself and not committing to God.


this committing to God thing struck me really hard as i was walking down the street last week, its like all we need to do is commit everything to God, and really, God will just TAKE CARE of everything FOR REAL, im not kidding, you will feel peace, love and most of all hope that at the end of whatever ur going thru, all will be well. But we just simply cannot commit it to God, we just cant let go! WHY! i must really confess, as far a christian can drift away from God after being born again, i think i've done it man, and i really regret, but my testimony has just been horrible but i know God's waiting for me to come back, and i will go back.

you know if ur backsliding, will you go back?

wow i havent posted for THAT long eh. interesting... soooo many things have been happening in the past few weeks i've just had no time to sit down and reflect and think about stuff. but now that holidays has started, i think i really need to re-evaluate my life and my walk.

the past few weeks, have been training hard in vball, i think the team is starting to look like a team, starting to play tgt and play ball. of course we still have an extremely extremely long way to go before we will reach A div level but every journey needs a first step right.

hmm previously got back results, moving on... things have just been such a blur, and my walk has been really off, and i pray i'll get back. the funny thing about all this is that we get to make the choice to go to God, its us that causes our walks to be so off track, yet we never seem to go back.

now planning for church camp, hmm i really dont know what to say man, many many things have been going on yet i cant put a finger to it, i cant put them on paper, its weird huh. how there are a million things happening but u have no idea what they are.this is the end of JC1.


how things have changed....

now that the picture is so much clearer, i'll wait! as long as it takes. i'll wait. i just pray it all works out. but im happy now. i really am. THANK YOU GOD.

i really want to share everything that has happened the past 5 days starting from thursday morning where we set off to jalan betera for the camp(i think thats how u spell it. lol.) all the way till sunday night when we were released and today when we had our dinner ceremony and officially graduated from ccaab camp(cca advisory board), to become the leaders of ACJC.


this experience has just blown me away. i went NOT wanting to go, my mind was all about who in the world wants to go for a stupid leadership camp. i miss ywav, i miss sunday service, my church friends, i miss thursday and friday AC games. but i dont regret, and i never will. This is the first camp ever that i would dare say i would bring home something other than memories. the values and lessons learnt. im totally blown back by what God has done to me through the camp and participants.

the best camp i've ever been for. EVER been for. words just cannot describe how i feel. i just praise God for humbling me as much as he has. i feel weak, i feel hurt, sad and disappointed with myself. but i also feel proud, happy, confident and optimistic. i know the road ahead is amazing and glorious if i will just learn from my mistakes. oh how i wish i could go back and re walk that path. but i know God meant it exactly for what he did, and i will follow, i will listen.


its alright to make mistakes, as long as we learn from them.

TEN BOOM. We'll blow you away.
CCAAB 2008. We will lead.as we follow.
thank you Lord father in heaven. hallowed be thy name.

CCAAB camp

i went with the intention to dominate, to shine, to be a "star", but God had other plans. he wanted me to be humbled. i went with the intention to lead, but God had other plans. he wanted me to follow. this is the first camp in my life i daresay i'm bringing sth back home other than memories. the lessons learnt. im just humbled. i really am.

God is good.

so many things i dont wanna say. so many things i dont dare to show. so many thoughts i dont have the guts to expose. all because i know non believers are watching me. all because i know im answerable to God. but God made us imperfect. even believers are flawed. Even we are weak. trusting in the Lord doesnt make us invunerable, doesnt make us invincible.it simply gives us a source of strength. a place we can turn to whether we need the strength or not. whether we're at peace or not.


its so tiring to be who we are, so tiring to show people who the real "me" is, yet NOT show people who the real "me" is? isnt that the case in the world. NOBODY, i dare say NOBODY shows 100% of who they really are in this wretched world. simply because the world would be UNABLE to take it. "this is who i am, this is the real me" Is this really the real me? we gotta keep asking ourselves that. one moment we lose track, the next we look back and wonder who the heck was the person standing in our shoes behaving the way he/she did.


christians always want to give non-believers the best impressions. testimony its called. so that we can set the example for them. set the example that Jesus set for us. but how tiring it is to be the pillar of strength. the pillar of peace, that punching bag continually attacked by circumstances and problems but so resilantly not giving in. why do we feel so tired? why do we feel so weary? isnt it all because we dont go back to Christ? then we say OKAY i shall do quiet time tonight, read my bible, pray. we're back on track! now i wont feel tired, tml in school, the devil's gonna fall at my feet. or so we think.


the next day we feel even more tired than before. we feel even more helpless. before we kept our eyes on God, we were tired, now, we're still tired? hows that possible. maybe we were never MEANT to NOT feel tired. maybe we were just meant to commit it to God and ask him to HELP us through this tiredness. the tiredness doesnt disappear because we ask God to make it disappear. when we look to God for help. he simply walks beside us THROUGH the furnace. he simplys cries with us when we cry. he's simply there for us. maybe thats what its all about.


people often say, i dont wanna be a christian, if God is so good, why are there so many screwed up christians. with vulgarities, with attitudes, with all the shortcomings a christian as stereotyped by the world is NOT supposed to have. why? with this in their mind, they dont wanna be a christian. they dont wanna believe. this God is simply not real, not good, not POWERFUL enough if his believers are behaving like that?
how christians behave does NOT remove the fact that we are ultimately ALL answerable to God. if every christian behaved perfectly. would you believe?
i'm sure not. u'd think they were controlled freaks. religious screw ups. thats what you'll think of them. surely if they all behaved so well, they cant have done it out of their own will. God must be controlling them. why would i want to be controlled.


why am i typing all this? lol i feel possessed. im tired. mentally. but life goes on. the clock doesnt wait. every step i take. is one step closer to the finish line.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30