what am i supposed to say and do?

Lord take it away, if its not from you. and take it away NOW Lord, NOW. But if it is your will, help me through it Lord. Lessen the Load Lord. Amen.

chem paper 1 today. last paper of my prelims. i thought it was the hardest of the 3 chem papers. and its mcq. lol. i shant speak about exams. its taboo in my world to speak about how the exams went until the results are out.

after that went to play soccer. 5 hours straight. wow. and i havent played for like 8 months! i really had difficulty keeping up man. tired and aching. time to start training. omg that rhymes.
anyway i cant possibly summarise everything thats going on in my life right now and the emotions running through my veins. sometimes you may want something, but at the same time not want it. have you ever felt that way? im feeling it now. Lord guide me.

Yuetong's farewell dinner steamboat in church tml. going yam's hse in the morning to play xbox 360. i love nba. lol. i need a life.

i want to type something. but i cant. not dont know what to type. cant type. how WEIRD is that. man i really need to go imh for check up.

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weird huh. all i did was control c and control v, why does it turn out so weird?

God is good, God is good.

The peace that transcends all understanding.
i've truly had a glimpse of it.

You Will rescue me. Because i have called. Amen.

Before 2009 started, i knew i was going to have an eventful year. eventful is good. eventful means more opportunities for God to draw me nearer to him. eventful means more learning, eventful means maturing, means growing.

When you pray for patience, God doesnt give you patience, God gives you chances to practice patience. He puts the slowest people around you so that you will learn patience.
Someone once told me that the scariest prayer to pray is "Dear God, draw me closer to you. " Because God WILL do that. He will give you the opportunities to do so. Whether you want to draw near or not. The choice is yours.

We often ask for things with our eyes fixed on the prize. we see the reward. we go for it. what we dont see, is what we have to GO THROUGH, to get that prize. Many people pray and ask God to draw themselves nearer to him. But once the circumstances flood their lives, the "opportunities" rain down on them. they cower. they crumble. they think its a competition. the strongest survives. the one who can take the most hardships draw closer to God. These people often fall. These people often come as close to God after everything as they were before. Far away.

They were right about one thing, it IS the person who can take the most hardships whom will draw closest to God. but its the one who can take the most hardships, with GOD as our guide, with GOD's strength, with GOD's grace. Not by ourselves.

At the start of 2009, i knew i was going to have an eventful year. i knew because i prayed that i wanted to draw closer to God. i prayed that i will have to opportunities to grow. In God's timing and purpose, his great plan encompasses all things. What i didnt expect. was all the "events" to happen within a period of 4 weeks before my prelims. When the things happen. i cant even OPEN my mouth to speak about it. i cant even talk about it, i cant even share it with people around. I thank God for Jerome though. A brother through and through.

my prelims begin tomorrow. Right now, i feel helpless. Tired. i feel weighed down by the unbearable load. and Yes, i have committed it to the Lord. i have said the prayers. but prayers dont take the load away. Prayers call out to Him to give you support to help you carry the Load. and He will. He will help you carry the load. But He won't take it away.

my prelims begin tomorrow. At this current point in time. i have NO thoughts about prelims in my head.As a student, exams usually occupy our minds the most. At least they should. This is how He draws me closer to him.My spirit is as weak as it can possibly get. For the first time in my life, i dare to say, i have no more energy and no more strength to push on by myself. I'm leaning on God fully. Amen. How about you?

Falling on my knees in Worship
Giving All i am to Seek Your face
Lord All i am is Yours

peace amidst the storm. amen babe!

just when i was struggling with pride, i came before God and the verse he gave me is the coolest ever. its like 2345! 2 Corinthians 3:4-5. how fun.

my mother wonders why i am so proud.

Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves but our competence comes from God.
2 Corinthians 3:4-5.

i wonder if i wld have any friends if i werent a christian. everytime i feel myself drifting and the "different" Caleb taking over, i immediately rush to the altar to re-commit my life to God. i wonder what would happen if i have no one to commit it to and that different me takes over. lol. thank God i'll never know the answer.

On a side note, today went to Eric and Bel's new house for a housewarming gathering, it looks like an upgraded, expanded version of the old one they rented. lol. but much nicer of course. i cannot believe i went there without my camera, and i cannot believe i am describing a gathering without the aid of pictures. i shall stop. differenciation ftw.

dont stop never give up
cos' A levels is coming soon
let the world see you mug like mad
singapore for the win
Lord, i might be a student, but im human as well. guide and lead me. i cant focus when im distracted.

why?

why am i so proud and arrogant? why am i so ego-istic and self centred? apparently i wasnt made this way cos God dont make things bad, so WHY AM I LIKE THIS. omg. its like the show me myself and Irene, where there is one good guy and one bad guy in the same person. die bad guy, die.

if solomon could ask for wisdom? is humility too much to ask for?

There's a trilogy?

what do you do when you want to say something because its bursting out and overflowing, yet you cant because u fear the consequences; yet you cant because there is so much at stake; yet you cant because ur afraid that once you say it out, what u feared would happen, would happen.

what will you do then?

i will bottle it, cap it tight, seal it and hide it away.
yet i hope one day it will be pulled out.

Naive realism leads to physics, and physics, if true, shows that naive realism is false. Therefore, if naive realism is true, its false. Therefore it's false. lol. i love KI, i cant believe people are free enough to think up this kinda crap. THINK it up. like, sit on the stupid chair and TA DA! i got it! nothing i know is real! LOL. what a bunch of retards. and their the smartest people on Earth. Evidently common sense doesnt correspond with intellectual abilities. either that or common sense is not very common.


Went to watch GI joe after national day celebrations today. which was the lamest thing to happen to me this year. we had 3 hours before the movie so we went to nat's house to play nba. lol. talk about bad attitude one week from prelims man. 4 of us went, nat wenjie seryang and i. nat and i loved it, wenjie and seryang hated it. thats like 50% bad movie taste rate man. its alright nat, we forgive those who cannot see the truth.

theres actually gonna be a trilogy for this thing. lol. excited as i might be, i dont see how the story can stretch.

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE - Planet Shakers

I’m not gonna live by what I see

I’m not gonna live by what I feel

(Pre-chorus)

Deep down

I Know that You’re here with me

I know that You can do anything

(Chorus)

Through You, I can do anything

I can do all things

For it’s You who give me strength

Nothing is impossible!

Through You

Blind eyes are opened

Strongholds are broken

I am living by faith

Nothing is impossible!

(Bridge)

I believe, I believe

I believe, I believe in You

lol.

i have a fetish for the word... no the wordS "L O L". something about it attracts me. short. sharp. straight to the point. easy to type. convenient. love it.

i am beginning to speak like a geek. been watching too much big bang theory. way way too much.