Before 2009 started, i knew i was going to have an eventful year. eventful is good. eventful means more opportunities for God to draw me nearer to him. eventful means more learning, eventful means maturing, means growing.
When you pray for patience, God doesnt give you patience, God gives you chances to practice patience. He puts the slowest people around you so that you will learn patience.
Someone once told me that the scariest prayer to pray is "Dear God, draw me closer to you. " Because God WILL do that. He will give you the opportunities to do so. Whether you want to draw near or not. The choice is yours.
We often ask for things with our eyes fixed on the prize. we see the reward. we go for it. what we dont see, is what we have to GO THROUGH, to get that prize. Many people pray and ask God to draw themselves nearer to him. But once the circumstances flood their lives, the "opportunities" rain down on them. they cower. they crumble. they think its a competition. the strongest survives. the one who can take the most hardships draw closer to God. These people often fall. These people often come as close to God after everything as they were before. Far away.
They were right about one thing, it IS the person who can take the most hardships whom will draw closest to God. but its the one who can take the most hardships, with GOD as our guide, with GOD's strength, with GOD's grace. Not by ourselves.
At the start of 2009, i knew i was going to have an eventful year. i knew because i prayed that i wanted to draw closer to God. i prayed that i will have to opportunities to grow. In God's timing and purpose, his great plan encompasses all things. What i didnt expect. was all the "events" to happen within a period of 4 weeks before my prelims. When the things happen. i cant even OPEN my mouth to speak about it. i cant even talk about it, i cant even share it with people around. I thank God for Jerome though. A brother through and through.
my prelims begin tomorrow. Right now, i feel helpless. Tired. i feel weighed down by the unbearable load. and Yes, i have committed it to the Lord. i have said the prayers. but prayers dont take the load away. Prayers call out to Him to give you support to help you carry the Load. and He will. He will help you carry the load. But He won't take it away.
my prelims begin tomorrow. At this current point in time. i have NO thoughts about prelims in my head.As a student, exams usually occupy our minds the most. At least they should. This is how He draws me closer to him.My spirit is as weak as it can possibly get. For the first time in my life, i dare to say, i have no more energy and no more strength to push on by myself. I'm leaning on God fully. Amen. How about you?
Falling on my knees in Worship
Giving All i am to Seek Your face
Lord All i am is Yours
