i love my parents. i love my family. i love my friends. and most of all, i love God.
you'll only know what happiness feels like after u've experienced its opposite.
this one week has been hell for me, i have never felt so emotionally defeated in my life. lol, my parents have been in malaysia the whole week attending to my grandmother's stuff, and my bro has been in hostel at ntu. i have NEVER experienced loneliness in my life before. until this week.
tuesday i went with my bro to malaysia, straight after school i met him, reached malaysia went to the crematorium to meet my parents and my sister and my uncles and aunties. never seen my father cry so many times in one day before. lol more than i've ever seen him cry in my life. haha but well its his mom, so i guess its natural. so many times my eyes were hot and watery, but nothing could come out, like there was a blockage at my eyes..
returned to singapore after the cremation and lunch on wednesday. everybody was falling to the ground during the cremation. sigh... when i reached singapore, i felt dead again. my bro left for the hostel and i have no idea what my sister was doing in her room.
thursday woke up late, i have never appreciated my mum this much before, the small supposedly insignificant things like making sure im awake even though there is an alarm clock to get me up, all these things we often brush off. i love my mum man. went to school. after school went to play basketball and just let all that angst out. lol. after that i went home, reached hme around 6pm. washed up etc etc, 7pm my sister called me and told me she needed to go A&E (emergency) cos the clinic doctor told her that her headache wasnt a normal headache.
dont ask.
reached home around 10 sth, thank God my sister did not have to stay in the hospital.
i just reached home 30 mins ago. when i say my mum's slippers outside the door, i almost wanted to cry, i go so emotional my eyes started to water. i really missed my parents, and its been 4 days, ridiculous, like some little pathetic baby. i am the most pampered kid in the world. i really am. it took my grandma's death to see that, lets hope my eyes are alot sharper now.
you'll never appreciate what u have, till you know what its like to not have.
never.
Do not be discouraged, do not be afraid.
Be strong and courageous,
for the Lord your God
will be with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9
