im sick and tired of hearing people say im mean, i already said sorry to him 2 billion times. and i freaking meant it, so what the hell more do you people want me to do? every little damn thing i say, i screw up, EVERY SINGLE WORD I SAY will lead to someone becoming pissed.if we dont tease each other,its not fun?bs.ITS NEVER FUN when things turn out this way.wth.
this close to changing that letter.
thank God for jerome.thank you for always being there for me man,seriously,every single time.they say humans cant always be there for you so our only best fren is jesus.but what if God sends angels down.perhaps the angels themselves dont even know they are angels.thanks jerome.thank you.
When i made that decision, i knew with all my heart God is in charge.i knew that there is a plan for me.And the next moment, everything is falling apart,on one hand, i thank God, cos i know that his plan really exists, and its a great plan, so satan is trying to ruin everything, which explains for my screwed up ness now.on the other head, im frustrated, and pissed and extremely frustrated.almost everyone knows that i quit soccer to join christian fellowship, and now things are going this way, how the heck am i supposed to set an example when my life is this screwed up?why cant i stand him?WHY,it is said that God puts unlovable people around us to test and mould us.
My devotional says, there is no need to pretend to be full of joy and happiness, when you are in the darkness, just wait on the Lord and he will answer with his great plan. abram was in the darkness for 13 full years.i know mine wont last that long,so grant me perserverence oh Lord.
but in this case,is he the unlovable one?or me?IM THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS THIS PROBLEM
bring me back up father, and drown my ambition in ur great plan.all i want is to worship you,let me forget about everything esle lord.everything i set out to do without you in the picture.let me forget them all.DAMN IT.
