i gotta admit it, my walk is so off, so really really off. today sermon was by pastor eric and the topic was the pursuit of "happyness", its actually named after the will smith movie but it was a really impactful, sweet and good sermon. and i was thinking about everything he said, about the concept of happiness is having God as the centre and focus of our lives, progressively growing closer to him each day. happiness is the PROCESS, not the product. and i was thinking bout all that.
and i realised it was totally true, from the day i converted at the end of sec 2, im j1 now, my life has totally changed, i've never been the same from then on, my heart has been light, my life carefree, its just a different ball game altogether when God is on ur side, in the pursuit of happyness. its a race ur bound to win, its UNFAIR to have God on ur side. lol. but its a sweet thing. and i thank God i experienced him and met him, i cld have easily gone down the other path after what happened in my life that year. But yet, after all that God has done for me, and everybody for that matter, we still behave in disgraceful manners. Me espacially, i dun understand why is it so hard to just focus and let the distractions just past, why do i waver SO EASILY? ridiculous. and these words " shit, freak, damn, what the hell, screwed up " why cant they disappear from my vocab? why am i so disgraceful???
God is so compassionate, i have this analogy of the death of Jesus.
imagine urself, theres this arch enemy of urs, and he humiliates you, backstabs you, laughs and you, turns all ur best frens against you, and makes a fool of you, then he spits at you, and disgraces ur name everywhere he goes. And you go up to him and say u'll always be his fren and you'll always be there for him, and you love him, and u seriously mean everything u say. HOW is that possible? wldnt u want to kill that person already? but jesus did all that and more, HE DIED for us. and up till today, we're still spitting at him, everytime i say what the hell, im spitting at him, everytime we gossip, we're spitting at him. If God is not merciful and compassionate, then what is he?
You know its so difficult to live a christian life, cos God's will regularly clashes with ours, but his will is always the better one just that we cant see it initially, but we struggle to understand what's his plan cos its so hard to just accept and move on. but i'll do it and i'll move on.
you know, everytime christians try to bring someone to christ, they will talk about all the good of christianity, benefits, feel good factors and stuff, im one such person, and often people dun accept the concept of this GOD, maybe THAT is the reason why! cos we onli talk about what so great about being a christian, if we dont tell them the struggles of being a christian, if we dont let them know what so meaningful about this life we're so passionate about living, then who's gonna accept christ. theres no such thing as a free lunch. with the exception of Christ's gift of eternity that is.
u noe, i always wondered why people like my grandmama and other frens, are so hard up on not being a christian, i mean whats the lost, u dun lose money or anything, why dun u just accept this concept of a God existing(because HE DOES) and just give God time to show you that he's real, no need to become some hardcore christian and go church every week and go for youth and read 2 hr bible everyday and stuff, you have NOTHING to lose! but i understand the ego problem, its precisely what made me openly proclaim i was a non christian from p5 to sec 2. but gosh, yall are missing out so much! but you know what! i still love yall! and God loves yall too! :) isnt God amazing, where wld i be without him? gotta focus, sweep away the distractions. focus focus focus.
