i've been thinking so much. and people along the way have helped me realise some really impt stuff, abel diana and joy, helped me quite abit even though they dont say anything, talking to them really helped me see some new stuff.

after coming to AC, i've just been a different person, so fake, so unreal. even i feel the change, but the problem is, did i want the change? or did it come subconsciously. i dont even want to think about it. it scares me what's stirring in my mind, in my heart. its revolting, and ridiculous to think that i even enjoy myself so much at times. lol. joy was rite, thanks joy, if ur reading this, which i doubt you are, you really helped me see alot of things, sometimes i really appreciate ur frankness cos i know no one esle will say the stuff to me that u do. i'm sure u think that way too. lol.

i always say i want God to be the center of my life, thats crap! center, is still just a part isnt it? means God is still just ONE part of ur life? center or not, top left hand corner, top right hand corner, its still just one part, significant or not, its still just one part. shldnt we want God to be our ALL, our EVERYTHING, our LIFE. God is not in charge of our lives, God OWNS our lives. its a different thing altogether. tsk lol nvm, nobody's gonna read this, and nobody's gonna get it anyway.