Tuesday, April 29, 2008

titlelessss

today is officially a good day. i have no idea why, but i was happy at the end of the day, the KI lesson is just the bomb, i am totally loving my ki class, i dunno whether its the teacher or what, but my class is really closely knit for a class that hasnt been together too long, i mean 2 months, it aint that long a time, but class is fun!


i had 2.4 today. omg, God is the bomb, it started drizzling, is that how u spell it? okay anyway yeah it started doing that during my 4th lap, how awesome is that? and it was cooling somemore and when my class finished running, the drizzle stopped. :O yes. look at my previous post, God didnt exactly DESTROY the sun for 15 mins, but i'd take it anyway! awesome stuff!



okay my room temperature now is 34.7 degrees! AHHHHHHHHHHH yes aiwee, it aint exactly melbourne heat, but i DONT LIKE IT anyway. yes there are actually things in life that i feel SPOILS life. lol but life is great anyway.



overall actually today is as boring a day as it can possibly get, but i feel so light hearted, maybe its cause i dun have to run 2.4 for another one year. lol. good to get that off my back. NO DONT ask for my timing. yes dont! the tests and project work and all that are starting to pile up. Whooooooo! so fun.



okay, i feel bored. :O why do i feel bored? i think jc life is so boring. but its a queer type of boring, usually boring = slow paced, but this is fast paced boredom! :O what a weird weird thing dont you think?


i think the govt shld implement a four day work week, giving us wednesday off. dont you think? help us catch up with the mega load of "paper(s) that have been put to bad use" that is(are) dumped on our laps each and every single &*$&#@*(#&@#@^& day. yes! i AM beginning to talk nonsense!




to end off the day, i shall present you with a quote from divya of my KI class.
" Mr tan doesnt not like me, he just likes to play around with me, no no, he just messes around with me."
this is why i say its bad to be too smart, humanities scholars talk funny :)

Monday, April 28, 2008

the weather is making me....unhappy.........

33.6 degrees celsius.

yes thats my room temperature. what is wrong with this world! today mitchell and i were walking across to the sports complex after school to go gym, the sun was TOTALLY blinding me, and i was looking down somemore. this....is......madness!!



today my mood was just.. moody.... the weather is SO turn off, and there are ppl EVERYWHERE wearing jackets! omg, its like if u spray abit of pepper and seasoning, they can be eaten for lunch. lol........ gosh my days are becoming so uneventful i no longer see the need for this blog.



oh! today this guy came to our school to talk about cyber wellness and all that crap, how to be a good blogger and gamer etc. and he say good bloggers inspire. tsk i was thinking, "so... good bloggers are like caleb.." thats like too high a bar to reach dont you think! :D



the above paragraph is an example of what you'd call small talk, its what people do when they run out of things to say. oh man, i think im gonna post an emo post soon, make things more interesting. LOL. tml is 2.4 run! DEAR GOD, please destroy the sun and recreate it after 15 mins!


my soul is in the worst possible condition it can possibly be.Bring me back o Lord!
Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all this shall be added onto you. Matthew 6:33

Sunday, April 27, 2008

lol thank you all the people who have tagged my tagboard, all those sweet and wonderful comments have truly warmed my heart! muahahahaha


last weekend was my busiest weekend ever, i had so much work to do, from friday night, i already had a schedule planned out to make sure i wldnt have to do last min work. i was so organised that sunday night, i had nothing to do.


this weekend is my freeiest weekend ever, i have so little work, i didnt even bother to think about what is it i have to do. now i'm not able to finish them. LOL. ridiculous how the human mind works.


nothing esle to type. bye :)

Saturday, April 26, 2008

i feel really happy tonight. this afternoon we had youth and today was games, but lets not talk about ywav games, ywav games are always a....hmmmm.... unique time. :)

but tonight i feel good, i dunno why, maybe cos i get to talk to so many people whom i want to talk to on msn. and i had a really good conversation with cuifen, its one of more meaningful conversations ive had this whole year. lol. i shall therefore declare cuifen is nice!

life is weird. but it is great. its all with regard to ur perspective. tough doesnt equal not great. life is tough, it always will be, but thats what makes it great aint it? :) life is great!

Friday, April 25, 2008

God is Great. Even if u dont see it.

yay today i went cf after not being able to go the past few weeks due to volleyball. and i really had alot of fun making friends with new people and just interacting with christians once again.


today when helsa walked past me, she asked me how was my life and i gave her the standard caleb "fantastic" replies. and she said how i was always happy and smiling when she saw me. then i thought about it, my class people certainly wldnt agree. lol but do you really have to be all jumping around and smiling so broadly when ur happy? happiness is temporary, joy is eternal, when you have joy and peace in your heart, you dont have to show it to feel it. it will always be within you. you dont have to show it. :)


my previous posts have all been about how God's plans dont coincide with me. after coming out of the storm, i find it ridiculous i could have actually thought that way. isnt it amazing how you always think the grass on one side is greener than the other. well thats rubbish. God's plan for us is always eternal and great and it always benefits us eventually whether its a short term thing or long term thing. i cant believe i always go into the "why is God doing this" mode. its absolutely childish and dumb. gosh, but im definately gonna be doing it afew more hundred times in the next few decades, provided i'm still alive. oh well. God is great. Thank goodness he forgives.


LIFE IS GREAT!
tired does not equal sad.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

ever since i stepped out of ccab (co curricular activities branch), i have not stopped thinking about volleyball, since i saw the pj vs nyjc match, which was incredible, yes i mean incredible, imagine perfect spikes and superb plays. my mind has not shifted to ANYTHING esle at all. i laid on my bed for an hour, doing NOTHING, just thinking, just imagining, and every thought that filtered thru my head, was DIRECTLY related to volleyball. omg. im going mad.

i feel like training, i feel like training everyday, oh man im so desperate. i didnt forgo my passion for soccer to learn a new sport for leisure sake. i freaking wanna winnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn... this is exactly what i felt for BB AQ. i wanted to win so badly. but at the end of the day, if one lacks the talent, how far exactly can he go? lol forget it man, i dont care already, one year's time i'll look back at this post. after we win A div. :D

Its all in God's hands. 8 guys remaining, sure afew more to come. JIA YOU!
bounce back bounce back. the serve that haunts. Gotta bounce back. one more year one more chance. gotta jump higher, gotta spike harder, one more year to do it all! Ahhhh.remind me why again i made this choice?

LIFE IS GREAT. yes it is.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

today bell ring at 1.50, i was home at 1.55, lol just kidding i was home at 2.20. cool eh, i flew home hahahaha 2nd consecutive day, it feels good to get my afternoon naps back! shiok! yesterday was 4pm to 8pm, today is 3.30pm to 5pm. good ah, it feels so wonderful, my energy is coming back! so is my crap! LOL.


finally get some work done. gosh. too much too much. lol. but still, life IS great. :) i really have nothing esle to say, cos sleeping isnt exactly as eventful as we all wld like it to be. but it is certainly one of the greatest pastimes God ever created, can u imagine if we were robots with no sleep? we'd all be JOYful! HAHAHAHA just kidding, i know im horrible, but its quite funny dont you think? if u didnt get what i just said... hmm move on with life and be happy :)

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

DEEP IN THOUGHT

i wont lie and pretend theres a rainbow in the sky and the roses are growing over. i am tired, and i rarely say it, but i AM tired. physically mentally, u name it, i'm experiencing it. lol. it aint a good feeling. time is passing so ridiculously fast, work is piling up incredibly fast and i am finding it amazingly hard to keep up.


lol jc is one heck of a phase of life man. not only does nothing seem to go your way, it even seems like things are going AGAINST your way. lol.

okay this is not a complaint post, i dont complain. lol. i whine, cos according to a certain someone, whining builds frenships.lol. the good thing about all these is that i noe its gonna end super quick, cos everything is passing so fast, its gonna be june so fast, then one more june is all we need to start getting worried we're gonna flop. which usually wldnt happen anyway, cos things always turn out well. somehow. lol.


and for those emo kids who think i'm very quiet now or im a changed man or whatever, jus understand that i dont drink red bull for breakfast and im human, so being high every second just wouldnt work for my body. lol. just kidding su ann, dont blow up while reading this. haha.


i wonder what are things gonna be like 2 years from now, or 1 and a half for that matter. we're all growing up so fast, now its just weird to go mad and "BE YOURSELF". we all have to enter that adult stage and we all have to mature and behave like we actually are adults, where is the fine line between being urself and being immature? When the difference between black and white is so thin, where would you stand? We talk about desire, sure we'll all want to do the right things, have a smooth flowing journey in life. but if the energy and strength just aint there, what are you gonna do?


btw, as much as you think this is an emo post. it is not. and tired does not equal sad. in fact, i am happy, peaceful and any other adjective you can use to describe 5 year old kids prancing around toadstools in green pastures under the bright cheery sun and a rainbow, you cld probably use it on me. Life is great :D !



Be courageous and strong, for the lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

Monday, April 21, 2008

good job guys, we actually managed to win dunman high, good job. :) nice one zijian.


after the match we went back to school for training. its fun la, at the same time tiring. gonna have to push really hard to get my studies back on track. sure aint easy to juggle a sport and studies thats for sure. doesnt help when ur cca starts at a ridiculous time of 6pm when everyone's ending theirs.


"this" kind of things make me think, what is God thinking. Sure you look at the scenario, you look at the circumstances, all this dictate what happened, but is it possible that i'm totally in the freaking wrong place? i wont hide the fact i was disappointed and upset, i was this close, this close to losing it. how much more must i do, how long more must i go through all this. anyway, thanks jen. u helped alot.


when your plans dont coincide with God's, its easy to say trust God and believe in his higher thoughts, but when it happens time and time again, will u be able to say the same thing with the same aggression and certainty, with the same fire that burned in ur eyes when u first became a christian? Its hard. its horribly hard. way too hard. to do it by ourselves. but since theres nth we can do about it anyway, might as well trust him. But of course, at the end of the day, even if we are given the choice to do something about it. Trusting God is always the wiser route aint it. dont argue, it is. lol.


Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all this shall be given unto you. Matthew 6:33


somehow this verse comforts me alot better than jeremiah 29:11 at this point of time. It brings me back to reality, it helps me know that its not us that matter. its God.

"....plans to prosper you and to give u a hope" jermiah 29:11


When nothing is going your way. what do you do?
Do you know michael jordan, the greatest basketball player ever, was dropped from his university team cos he was apparently too lousy? if you dont understand why i typed this sentence, you probably wldnt understand this entire post. lol. goodnite and be happy :)

Friday, April 18, 2008

OKAY its been approx one billion years since i've last posted.

only two reasons, no make it 10.

1. No mood
2. No energy
3. No mood
4. No energy
5. No mood
6. No energy
7. No mood
8. No energy
9. No mood
10. No energy

lol yes but i've decided to post today. i wonder why.

to briefly summarise everything i've gone thru the past weeks, (everything = omgoshly alot)
i begin by saying, yes i did not run for council, and dont ask me why, i cant sit on 2 million boats at the same time, if u didnt get it, smile and move on with life. :)

next i'm no longer in soccer yes, dont ask me why and yes i quit for the 2nd time. and my current and will be for 2 years cca is volleyball. and yes i'm still in CF even though its no longer my main and only cca, and no, dont ask me why i joined the iron ladies cca, and no, i dont think its a gay. :)

my vball training is on monday, wednesday and friday. yes 3 times a week. from 6 to 8.30. yes amazingly late, no, dont ask me how i cope with my work, and no i'm not coping with my work, but i AM trying. :D

to be honest, i've taken so little pictures, i'm starting to think i may have bought the wrong phone! lol just kidding.

okay now the summary of my life, my life now is moving at an amazingly fast pace i am starting to see stars but the good thing is its not up and down, its extremely stable which = extremely boring, and yes, i AM complaining, not that i dont like it, just that boring = hmm not fun. lol.


my spiritual walk. okay lets be honest, its lukewarm now, very very sadly, GOD PLEASE HELP ME! lol pray for me all you blog hoppers if you see this and u happen to have the habit of hm... praying. :D thank you!


honestly, what i want and need now, ALL i want and need now, is God's assurance that he's right here beside me, not that i dunno he's right here beside me, he's obviously right here beside me. but i want that FEELING, that rush, to KNOW indeed that he IS here, not know, know is the wrong word to use, i already know he is here, to FEEL he is here.


how is it possible that people love God the way they did when they FIRST became a christian, i really wanna do that, i wanna live my life as if i just got converted the day before, i wanna think, feel, talk, move, behave, LOVE the way i did when i FIRST became a christian.

even if i fail all my exams, even if my whole life crumbles, even if i fall seriously ill, even if the whole world turns against me. i know that God is by my side and always will be. the joy of the lord is my strength.

Quote from Oswald Chambers "my utmost for his highest" - it is an absolute crime to be weak in the Lord.

praise God!


check this out. american idols singing the song " shout to the lord " amazing.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

gosh gosh.life is weird. yesterday after training, i was in a super bad mood and i have no idea why. probably cos i was tired. so i went to sleep.







this morning, i felt okay, still survivable. went on with school. but i dreaded the day anyway, who wouldnt?? its the latest day on my timetable with the exclusion of cca, it ends at 4.30. crazy late right. so i was dreading it.











but guess what??!! the whole day i wasnt tired even once!! its like the first time in my jc life i wasnt tired during school life, like seriously, i didnt feel like sleeping even once, it was so amazing. and i just felt awake thru everything, even at the KI lesson, i was so alert and my mind was working so well!!! ahhhh good mood!!!











okay on a sad note, im unable to go for the pulai springs retreat in june anymore cos my dad said choose between mission trip or that, so its pretty obvious i'd go for the former since i've already submitted my name. aiyah forget it man.











okay today we had chem practical and one of the results was so cool, the precipitate in the testube was like glittery golden shiny crystals. nice eh.



fools like me.

so many things on my mind. so many things i wanna say. but i know i cant. i know i shouldnt.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

today there was ywav(youth with a vision) thats what the youth in my church are called, it was one of the best CIAs(cell in action) that i've had in a long time.

we were so totally interactive man, talking about all the rights and wrongs of our lives and just discussing alot of things, everyone was just putting forth their points of views and it was seriously seriously a refreshing change from the usual serene/eric talks, nobody replies. lol


i had flu today, still do, very very bad flu in fact, hope i get better. lol. i went high just now, and started talking nonsense and laughing nonstop. lol. coools i like it when i go high, im normal when im high. okay bye!

Friday, April 4, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUTH YEOH!


today was the longest day of my life, i have no idea why it felt so draggy but i really felt like dying la! gosh. then got volleyball training all that, alot going through my mind. hmm.


my walk is really off now, just now during CF worship, i totally felt lost.

bring me back O Lord.


this is my pw group, i seriously think its not bad, with michelle at the helm of our group and brains of shamini, summore my closest fren in class in my grp! mitchy! so happy man, then got wilin, who is also a very fun person! lol michelle, quan kao ni le! u tell us what to do, we do, all get A! yay!
at that stage again where i just dont wanna do anything. God, send me someone to help me, i cant go on like this forever.i need a rest.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

omg today rained cats and dogs, it was the heaviest rain i've seen in at least 6 months, madness! thankGod i met bryan yap, CF one and his dad gave me a lift to bouna vista mrt from school, if not i'll totally be stuck in school till like 7 or sth. amazing how the right people turn up at the right time. lol.







okay as i've said in the previous post, i've decided to stay in volleyball after all the persuasion by ms tang, i dunno what mr ong is gonna think of me man, quitting soccer twice, thats the mark of an ultra irresponsible person. sigh.... whatsoever. and i've been watching lots of volleyball videos, and it all looks so good, lol hopefully i can improve, im still like some half baked noob.








alot of people have asked me why im not running for council, esp when at the end of the year i was so on fire and burning, saying im gonna try and be head or sth, that was obviously all bs, but i was serious about the council thing, about going for everything and trying to make my jc life meaningful, but i guess as we move on, things happen as we may not have planned them to be.





God works in ways higher than ours, but thank God he does, ever wondered where the world wld be if everyone got what they wanted?








I know im a joker and im always cracking jokes and talking nonsense everywhere i go, but im starting to feel the strain of jc life, im still very relaxed with my time and im not rushing my work or anything so i guess thats good, but i am feeling the heat to keep up with everything being so fast paced, day after day so many things happen and we're expected to constantly keep abreast of everything happening.








i just need one day, to sit back, one full day, to lie down, one entire day, to stop and look back.









lol okay random random, i was looking thru my drawer and i found these 2 key chains in my drawer one green colour and this blue one, they're both different in design and i personally prefer this one.

i remember buying them in south korea when my family went there for holiday. i was a christian by then already, and i rmb telling myself that i will give one of those key chains to the girl i end up with, in other words the girl of my dreams la, lol. damn funny sia. that is called fairytale dreaming.

dreams dont come true.

all in all, i still need time to adapt to JC life, espacially now that im in a sports cca for the first time in my life and i have no more afternoon naps anymore. lol praise God man. :)

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

random pictures i've taken over the past week. PUTU!

diana moodswinging during lunch......tsk.....................................................
i saw this on the notice board, i think the student council took it last time or sth, but i thought it was damn cool so i decided to take it! lol.




okay i'm officially gonna join volleyball already, there are still alot of things on my heart that i'm not sure about and i dunno whether i will think back in the future and wonder if i've made a mistake, but through all this time i've prayed, i've decided to jump into the river and just check out how deep it goes.




i would love to be all cheery and bubbly here, but i really do feel tired, LOL, wow. so i havent been posting very often, but i do think that life is great, and things arent always going so great for me, but i still think life is great, God made life didnt he? of course its great.





lol my devotional today was about getting our life right with God before anything esle. i realised for the past one month at least, i've been praying about everything, praying for God to show me what to do, which cca to choose, what should i say, how should i grow, etc etc, but not once have i focused on how great our God ACTUALLY is.




when you focus on the foundation, everything esle falls into place.




anyway, suann you are totally thinking too much, lol, not talking to you as much as before doesnt mean we are no longer good frens, lol, and when you tell me ur problems and i laugh, it doesnt mean i'm laughing at you, it just means im optimistic and cheerful! YES! learn from the master........................LOL.





cheer up dude, all problems are a thing of the mind, once you learn that every problem is a stepping stone to help you grow, life becomes a game!:D




omg, tuesday volleyball training i ran 2.4 for the first time this year. YES, i AM unfit. omg. :O




oh wells, as least not as bad as chijie that gay. LOL KIDDING. :D