okay update update update
had mc from tuesday to friday last week and today too!
last monday night i had trouble sleeping, lots of pain in my abdomen area, woke up and felt like somebody made me drink a cup of virus juice. u get it la huh. worst i've felt in 2 years. NO joke.
ladaladalada. saw a doctor each day from tuesday to thursday. lol thursday being in the hospital.got x-ray and blood test done, quite cool. cos the first two doctors said it might be appendicitis.
turns out its not, its just severe food poisoning and gastric flu. two in 1. BAM. its the worst i have ever felt and i never want to feel like that again. u know its fine to be sick if it knocks you out? the worst thing about this past week, i cldnt even sleep, pain wakes me up every like 1, 2 hours. yeah. but its over and its 3 weeks to prelims. cool ah. missing one week of school a month before prelims when everyone is in full gear. now thats what i call good timing. ;)
time to catch up babe.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
there's nothing my God cannot do.
today i learnt something new, not really learnt la. i was just sitting down and it came to my mind.
here it is......
God blesses those who walk with him!
omg!haha u must be thinking im retarded, any OTHER retard in the world already knows this right? but have you realised that when there is something major coming up, we tend to pray multiple multiple times because we are nervous, scared etc etc? like O levels. before the paper, im sure a christian prays on average 5 times before the paper starts. dear God please help me, help me help me help me help me... is that 5? okay anw, yeah! why?
can u imagine ur asking ur friend for help, and you KNOW that ur friend will help you, like confirm must chop because he's the loyal type, know what i mean? hint hint me me. lol kidding. but yes, imagine that, u keep asking him so many times, whats the msg u sending? ur telling him that ur afraid he will forget to help you rite? ur telling him you dont really trust him to accomplish the task perfectly rite?
why do we trust him so little? He's our God.
i will not be distracted. i will not lose focus. i dont know if this is called getting my priorities right. but i guess for now it is.
here it is......
God blesses those who walk with him!
omg!haha u must be thinking im retarded, any OTHER retard in the world already knows this right? but have you realised that when there is something major coming up, we tend to pray multiple multiple times because we are nervous, scared etc etc? like O levels. before the paper, im sure a christian prays on average 5 times before the paper starts. dear God please help me, help me help me help me help me... is that 5? okay anw, yeah! why?
can u imagine ur asking ur friend for help, and you KNOW that ur friend will help you, like confirm must chop because he's the loyal type, know what i mean? hint hint me me. lol kidding. but yes, imagine that, u keep asking him so many times, whats the msg u sending? ur telling him that ur afraid he will forget to help you rite? ur telling him you dont really trust him to accomplish the task perfectly rite?
why do we trust him so little? He's our God.
i will not be distracted. i will not lose focus. i dont know if this is called getting my priorities right. but i guess for now it is.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
wobbly weakly
My bro just bought this new damn expensive camera, it costs like a high 3 digit sum, its quite cool, so i just asked him help me take these random pictures. lol. indigestion sucks.
Friday, July 17, 2009
calm and composed. lets all eat slow together.
left house for math refresher course. its not bad actually, Gan's mother taught and she's damn funny and her explanations are super clear. now thats what i call a good math teacher. countless ones who could learn from her man.
after refresher course met yam and we went to ABC market for dinner, lol we sat at the "sentosa" table. its the table that a whole group of us sat at when we went there for dinner during last december after we went to sentosa, what awesome times those were. guess what i ate, the chicken chop we ALL ate and the hokkien mee that covered our entire table. haha miss those times, when i really didnt care about anything other than my friends and having fun.
frustration blinds. is it the weather? is it the food? when the sky seems darker than usual and i cant hear what he's trying to say.
after refresher course met yam and we went to ABC market for dinner, lol we sat at the "sentosa" table. its the table that a whole group of us sat at when we went there for dinner during last december after we went to sentosa, what awesome times those were. guess what i ate, the chicken chop we ALL ate and the hokkien mee that covered our entire table. haha miss those times, when i really didnt care about anything other than my friends and having fun.
frustration blinds. is it the weather? is it the food? when the sky seems darker than usual and i cant hear what he's trying to say.
Danger.
im tired, frustrated, helpless and irritable. therefore im not in the "haha everybody make fun of me so that we all can have a good laugh" mood. therefore i might blow up if anyone gets on my nerves. its been a long long time since i've felt this way. like a different side of me, like the hulk. damn it.
whats with the roller coaster? one moment you do this one moment you do something esle. i think i'm just gonna ignore you, its starting to get irritating. you too.
School is freaking tiring now, and i feel extremely moody and touchy. right now i wish i can teleport to a lone island with a small house that has aircon, a computer, a basketball court, a comfortable bed and blanket, my bible and nothing esle. maybe a pool table and ONE or TWO friends. everything esle right now is just irritating the hell out of me.
whats with the roller coaster? one moment you do this one moment you do something esle. i think i'm just gonna ignore you, its starting to get irritating. you too.
School is freaking tiring now, and i feel extremely moody and touchy. right now i wish i can teleport to a lone island with a small house that has aircon, a computer, a basketball court, a comfortable bed and blanket, my bible and nothing esle. maybe a pool table and ONE or TWO friends. everything esle right now is just irritating the hell out of me.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
look at these cool pictures i found. lol random i know, but nice nonetheless!im damn tired. really really tired. how do THEY do it. damn.
have you ever asked yourself the question, is who you think you really are, who you really are? lol cheem cheem. omg. seeing the word cheem makes me think of chem. all is lost, the world is ending.
i seem to be a different person before i run, and during my run. strange strange indeed...
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Matthew 11:28
Levelisation of Friends
Level 5: People you know and have seen before but you dont say hi to. aware of existence.
Level 4: People you nod ur head at if you're a guy and smile at if you're a girl
Level 3: People whom you have fun with, i.e. in ur big clique, but you're not really "one on one" friends with the person him/herself
Level 2: You know who he/she likes and the person knows who you like. and thats ALMOST all you talk about. Yall are really close, but if you think about it, besides ur crushes, theres almost nothing esle to talk about.
Level 1: More than friends. almost a like a brother and sister. first person u call when ur depressed, first person you sms when something big happens in ur life.
early this year i watched made of honour with my cell, but recently i watched it again since i have it. and i think its really interesting. its like the protagonist had a best best best best friend, who happened to be a girl i.e. opposite gender la. so they were best friends all the while but when the girl was going to get married, the guy realised that he actually liked her and started chasing her. blah blah the story ends they get together, really happy ending; but is that what will happen in real life?
alot of people have platonic relationships i.e. friendship with the opposite gender without going into the "i like you" crap. but most of the time when two people like each other, isnt it because they click really well and its real fun being together? i classify the made of honour protagonists as Level 1 friends, and i think the guy really has guts. i honestly believe girls have this inbuilt mechanism in their heads that say "you are my good guy friend, i will never like you". LOCK IN COMPUTER. then when the guy likes them, which really isnt all that surprising, they get shocked and :O :O i cant talk to you ever again, "virus has appeared in computer, file malfunctioning. DELETE". but the protagonist had the guts to chase the girl, did he not think, what if i fail? Level 1 friends come by rarely, most of the time in a person's life, he will only have max 2 or 3 of such friends, regardless of gender. so did he not think that if he chased her and failed, that perhaps he might have lost a very precious Level 1 friend???
lol obviously we all know if that was the storyline, hollywood would be bombed the next day. but aint it a thought worth thinking? lol. this is my suggestion, guys should install a similar mechanism into their computers. its called "emotion controller", its very effective, when ur with the girl, enter command "i am gay". of course, please remember to delete file upon non-contact with girl. you dont wanna lose ur girl bffs, but you dont wanna lose ur guy ones either! :D:D:D:D
Through you i can do anything
I can do all things
Cos its you all gives me strength
Nothing is impossible
-Planet shakers, Nothing is impossible
There is nothing on my mind now other than God, NS and studies.
Seriously?
Level 5: People you know and have seen before but you dont say hi to. aware of existence.
Level 4: People you nod ur head at if you're a guy and smile at if you're a girl
Level 3: People whom you have fun with, i.e. in ur big clique, but you're not really "one on one" friends with the person him/herself
Level 2: You know who he/she likes and the person knows who you like. and thats ALMOST all you talk about. Yall are really close, but if you think about it, besides ur crushes, theres almost nothing esle to talk about.
Level 1: More than friends. almost a like a brother and sister. first person u call when ur depressed, first person you sms when something big happens in ur life.
early this year i watched made of honour with my cell, but recently i watched it again since i have it. and i think its really interesting. its like the protagonist had a best best best best friend, who happened to be a girl i.e. opposite gender la. so they were best friends all the while but when the girl was going to get married, the guy realised that he actually liked her and started chasing her. blah blah the story ends they get together, really happy ending; but is that what will happen in real life?
alot of people have platonic relationships i.e. friendship with the opposite gender without going into the "i like you" crap. but most of the time when two people like each other, isnt it because they click really well and its real fun being together? i classify the made of honour protagonists as Level 1 friends, and i think the guy really has guts. i honestly believe girls have this inbuilt mechanism in their heads that say "you are my good guy friend, i will never like you". LOCK IN COMPUTER. then when the guy likes them, which really isnt all that surprising, they get shocked and :O :O i cant talk to you ever again, "virus has appeared in computer, file malfunctioning. DELETE". but the protagonist had the guts to chase the girl, did he not think, what if i fail? Level 1 friends come by rarely, most of the time in a person's life, he will only have max 2 or 3 of such friends, regardless of gender. so did he not think that if he chased her and failed, that perhaps he might have lost a very precious Level 1 friend???
lol obviously we all know if that was the storyline, hollywood would be bombed the next day. but aint it a thought worth thinking? lol. this is my suggestion, guys should install a similar mechanism into their computers. its called "emotion controller", its very effective, when ur with the girl, enter command "i am gay". of course, please remember to delete file upon non-contact with girl. you dont wanna lose ur girl bffs, but you dont wanna lose ur guy ones either! :D:D:D:D
Through you i can do anything
I can do all things
Cos its you all gives me strength
Nothing is impossible
-Planet shakers, Nothing is impossible
There is nothing on my mind now other than God, NS and studies.
Seriously?
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
the countdown to hell
tuesday is supposed to be my slackest day of the week other than friday. then why the heck am i so tired? today i was really dead, by the time school ended my eyes were half shut.
then again, after school i went to run, so i cldnt have been THAT tired. but now that i've come back from my run. i AM really very tired. lol evident from the nonsensical manner in which i am blogging. for the first time in my wretched jc life, i did work, yes PROPER work in the ridiculously long break i have every tuesday morning, then i went for econs consultation. GASP, other than KI in which consultations i usually do not volunteerily request for, i have never gone for a single other consultation. yes, i am shocked too. looks like i am entering THE mode. yes, THE mode.
the one where i sit and study and i look up and my watch and realise that 3 hours have passed and i feel extremely satisfied. disclaimer. i THINK i am ENTERING THE mode. i have NOT entered THE mode. so for you all who are going "gasp! caleb is studying, things are getting grimmer, better cancel all my meals to prepare for hurricane Alevels!", halt your sheeps and relax. theres more to life than studying. :)
running is tiring. and i suck at it. officially. im a wuss in a boy's body. i was tired after running 1.6km. yes scream and shout, im gay! time to start training. evidently volleyball is not a very strenous sport. lol.
im sitting of my black chair of wisdom in my room of the undead and im thinking..
What is a "friend"? Who is YOUR "friend"? i dunno why but i just started thinking about it recently. weird question to ask because we all seem to have A best friend, and that 2 or 3 or 12 or 13 big clique. but so often when i sit down with a person and the conversation drifts off to friends. people will say "come to think of it, im not even really that close to blah blah, we just hang out together forever and have fun." lol. so who are your friends?
i once said i wish i didnt have emotions. true, the highs are exhilarating and come on, who doesnt like the feeling of joy, of pure ecstacy because ur friends treat you like a king on ur birthday, who doesnt enjoy the euphoria when ur cinderella tells you she loves/likes you too.
but what about the time when you wait forever for her and one day you realise that she's really been just, JUST a friend all along. what about the day you find out you've flunk ur A levels after 2 years of hard work, yes, hard work. what about the day you find out that ur father or mother has cancer. what about that day?
whose gonna support you when ur falling down what seems like the bottomless pit. whose gonna stand beside you when ur studying forever and you feel that you're wasting every second of your life and the stress starts to weigh like a million tonnes. who will you call when that time comes? is it worth it then? i used to think it wasnt. now i think it is. afterall, what are friends for.
but then again sometimes friends fail. :)
joshua 1:9.
then again, after school i went to run, so i cldnt have been THAT tired. but now that i've come back from my run. i AM really very tired. lol evident from the nonsensical manner in which i am blogging. for the first time in my wretched jc life, i did work, yes PROPER work in the ridiculously long break i have every tuesday morning, then i went for econs consultation. GASP, other than KI in which consultations i usually do not volunteerily request for, i have never gone for a single other consultation. yes, i am shocked too. looks like i am entering THE mode. yes, THE mode.
the one where i sit and study and i look up and my watch and realise that 3 hours have passed and i feel extremely satisfied. disclaimer. i THINK i am ENTERING THE mode. i have NOT entered THE mode. so for you all who are going "gasp! caleb is studying, things are getting grimmer, better cancel all my meals to prepare for hurricane Alevels!", halt your sheeps and relax. theres more to life than studying. :)
running is tiring. and i suck at it. officially. im a wuss in a boy's body. i was tired after running 1.6km. yes scream and shout, im gay! time to start training. evidently volleyball is not a very strenous sport. lol.
im sitting of my black chair of wisdom in my room of the undead and im thinking..
What is a "friend"? Who is YOUR "friend"? i dunno why but i just started thinking about it recently. weird question to ask because we all seem to have A best friend, and that 2 or 3 or 12 or 13 big clique. but so often when i sit down with a person and the conversation drifts off to friends. people will say "come to think of it, im not even really that close to blah blah, we just hang out together forever and have fun." lol. so who are your friends?
i once said i wish i didnt have emotions. true, the highs are exhilarating and come on, who doesnt like the feeling of joy, of pure ecstacy because ur friends treat you like a king on ur birthday, who doesnt enjoy the euphoria when ur cinderella tells you she loves/likes you too.
but what about the time when you wait forever for her and one day you realise that she's really been just, JUST a friend all along. what about the day you find out you've flunk ur A levels after 2 years of hard work, yes, hard work. what about the day you find out that ur father or mother has cancer. what about that day?
whose gonna support you when ur falling down what seems like the bottomless pit. whose gonna stand beside you when ur studying forever and you feel that you're wasting every second of your life and the stress starts to weigh like a million tonnes. who will you call when that time comes? is it worth it then? i used to think it wasnt. now i think it is. afterall, what are friends for.
but then again sometimes friends fail. :)
joshua 1:9.
Monday, July 13, 2009
pissed.
im pissed. i just spent the last 1 hour trying to figure out why stupid imeem does not allow me to play the full song on my blog but some stupid 30 seconds preview. WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO 30 SECONDS OF ANY SONG!. gosh. and i think imeem has changed its policies so that full songs cant be played outside of imeem. NO......................... if anyone knows how this can be corrected, let me know.
and i was in a good mood today somemore. wth man. dont feel like typing anymore. how the small trivial things affect my mood. i cant believe i have a 30 seconds song on my dumb BLOG. ARGHHHHHHHH.
and i was in a good mood today somemore. wth man. dont feel like typing anymore. how the small trivial things affect my mood. i cant believe i have a 30 seconds song on my dumb BLOG. ARGHHHHHHHH.
Friday, July 10, 2009
today, for the first time in 3 years, i cried. i cried like i never cried before, the last time i remember crying so badly was in sec 3 january when i was going through hell and God touched me. i poured like a baby, and i couldnt even hold it back. i was trying so hard to hold it back in, but it just kept pouring.
why?
i was doing nth so i decided to watch a movie and i randomly took out this dvd from my bro's collection and it was titled FREEDOM WRITERS, yeah take that down. its the story of this woman who works in a hotel, she decided to be a teacher and because she was new, she was sent to this delinquent class. you know how you watch shows where a single person made a difference and stuff? the thing is, this movie is a true story, every single portion, and its based on a book. the journey from which the teacher entered this class of rebellious confused teens to the end where the teens become adults, developing into true men and women that society need, is just absurdly amazing.
i cant even describe what i felt, i dont even know if there ARE words that can describe what i felt. i might be exaggerating, might not, but i guess no one will even know for sure until they watch the movie. when i first saw the trailer 2 years ago, i was thinking, what the heck is this movie. im not gonna watch it for sure, 5 stars...... for being boring! But darn, how wrong am i man. how wrong am i.
i know it sounds cliche and like oh blah blah another life changing movie. wow big deal, i rather watch hannah montana and stuff. but before u have any other thoughts, i only have one, PLEASE watch it. u can borrow it from me :)
you're alive. But are you living?
why?
i was doing nth so i decided to watch a movie and i randomly took out this dvd from my bro's collection and it was titled FREEDOM WRITERS, yeah take that down. its the story of this woman who works in a hotel, she decided to be a teacher and because she was new, she was sent to this delinquent class. you know how you watch shows where a single person made a difference and stuff? the thing is, this movie is a true story, every single portion, and its based on a book. the journey from which the teacher entered this class of rebellious confused teens to the end where the teens become adults, developing into true men and women that society need, is just absurdly amazing.
i cant even describe what i felt, i dont even know if there ARE words that can describe what i felt. i might be exaggerating, might not, but i guess no one will even know for sure until they watch the movie. when i first saw the trailer 2 years ago, i was thinking, what the heck is this movie. im not gonna watch it for sure, 5 stars...... for being boring! But darn, how wrong am i man. how wrong am i.
i know it sounds cliche and like oh blah blah another life changing movie. wow big deal, i rather watch hannah montana and stuff. but before u have any other thoughts, i only have one, PLEASE watch it. u can borrow it from me :)
you're alive. But are you living?
scary.
you know what scares me the most? its my ability to be anybody i want, anytime i want, anywhere i want. its scary. its really really scary. and you know whats worse? whats worse is that i regret after everything happens. i regret being the person i was, i regret doing what i did and saying what i did. and the WORST part is. while im in that "mode", im enjoying myself. scary.
2009 has arguably been the most eventful year of my life. in both the bad and good terms. and the major event is still 5 months away. i cant wait. 2009. what a year. scary.
2009 has arguably been the most eventful year of my life. in both the bad and good terms. and the major event is still 5 months away. i cant wait. 2009. what a year. scary.
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