pictures of you pictures of me

so much has been happening. its getting tougher and tougher to keep up with the emotional load that comes with being a teenager, im finding myself more and more confused at things i thought i was once in control of, i find myself experiencing "split personality" when im an entirely different person at different times, i wouldnt say a hypocrite, my values remain the same, i know what i must and must not do, but im just a DIFFERENT person. different in personality, but my character remains the same.

yet at the same time i know my character is degrading, things are moving at such a speed i find myself lacking the time to sit down and re-evaluate everything that has been going on, and what are my piorities in life.i feel like i've been wasting my day. just a couple of days ago when i was walking home, i just started wondering to myself "i wanna go out tml" and i looked thru my phone contacts and i started thinking about people i could ask and i came up with no names. lol i know i have 2 or 3 true friends in my life. but other than that, i almost have no "close friends". lol its quite sad actually.

jasmine from my class said im a floater, and its so true eh, i so totally agree with it. and she asked me why, if it was like past experience and stuff, and that actually hit a raw nerve, i dunno if it really is because of past experience or what not, but i never did really think about it that way, i always thought i was just trying to make more friends and have fun, after all. but the past experience thing actually got me thinking. maybe its true. the phrase "dont put all ur eggs in one basket" just became extreme.

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Today was ACS 123rd founders day, went to school in the morning, had service , prize presentation all that nonsense, ended quite early, right after we unveiled the SMILEY! :D "we" being the student council, guests of honour, OGLS and student leaders. it was quite cool being with the OGLS again. still will never forget orientation. we said hi for probably the 6th or 7th time since last week. i was actually serious about it, but after what i heard, im still serious about it, im seriously considering giving up. i wldnt say "giving up", i think thats an inappropriate phrase, but i doubt anything required this amount of effort if it were really mutual, im so tired im almost burnt out. i really dont understand what went on, i just hope that one day u'll tell me everything, everything that went on in ur mind, maybe it'll be too late, but better late than never.

i wanna slow down already, im feeling very tired, i just wanna stay at home away from crowds, away from you, just to think about whats been going on, just to take a break and get my life back on track. i know you'll probably never read any of this, lol, all the better then.

if friday the 13th TRAUMATISED you, i would have appreciated it if you told me. straight in the face.

The best week of my school life.

the past 2 weeks have really been a crazy time, and if i may say, the best 2 weeks of my life in jc so far, in fact, i'd go as far as to say my best time in school in... as far as i can remember?? lol the last 2 weeks have been focused mainly on orientation 09 and i must admit my decision to apply to be an ogl has turned out to be one of the best decisions i've ever made, i will never forget my experience as an OGL, and call it brainwashed if u want, but i really think i love AC now! :D

the past week was orientation 09, monday to thursday being games, friday OGLs had to go back for lessons while J1s had mock lectures then at night was campfire!!! :DD Mrs Chan, our principal gave OGLS the following monday off, like a holiday for our contribution to the school and alot of us went out to watch movie and stuff. man the past week has really been a blast man. i love my OG ARAGORN!! they're all super fun people man. even though they took quite a while to warm up to each other, thats typically of all j1s, but im really glad they grew together! ARAGORN SMACK THAT! :D :D :D :D

now that orientation is over, and lessons have started again, something inside me just feels amiss, its like our the best one week in my school life, i need to go back to studying, to catching up for 5 days of lessons missed. even though orientation was tiring and EXTREMELY stressful to the body, i will never exchange it for anything. the OGL friends i've made, the bonding i had with my OG, the times the OGLS spent early at 6am in the morning and late at 12.30am in the morning hahaha..., those were unforgetable times, my only hope is that we will stay together with this common experience at the back of our head. AC OGL 09, LIVE THE LEGACY!

pictures are all in facebook, LOTS OF EM! Once an OGL, Always an OGL!