Do you have an identity?

just went out with jerome to eat lunch and play some pool. im telling you, there is something about pool, 2 man pool, not 10 people "lets all take turns to shoot a ball once an hour" kind of pool, which is extremely calming. i mean seriously.

had a long talk with jerome, its just fantastic to release everything that its building up inside your heart, things that you know you shouldnt be saying, but things you know are real. things you know if you were to say it to any other person, u'd surely be judged but to your closest friends, they'll just fully understand what the hell you are going through.

on the way home i was just thinking. as Christians we always say we live for the audience of One, the Lord, that we are not supposed to care about what other people say but we live and worship freely with full knowledge that it is only God we are answerable to. but lets be realistic, how easy is that? We live in a world full of people, surrounded by people everyday, to live with disregard to the people around is just utterly ridiculous. imagine if you go around shouting and screaming everyday how great God is. what are the odds of you being arrested and thrown into jail for public disturbances?

so what are we supposed to do? we need to balance right? Right. thats what everyone does. thats why babies who have a mind of their own become idiots who walk blindly like idiots to work everyday from the time they sell their soul to the world around the time they become an adult. i've been thinking, many people say the period of 13-20 is the make or break period for a person. what kind of person he grows up to become, how influential he becomes. this period REALLY is the toughest emotionally and mentally for people. but why? isnt it because people in this age group have a mind and heart of their own? but the bloody world is telling them to sell it so they can fit in. earn some money and die without giving a damn what happens to it.

REAL growing up doesnt mean become a solemn old fogey. it means KNOWING who you are and never changing. God doesnt want you to mature by smiling less.

JEREMIAH 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you Hope and a future.

i do believe that future doesnt include losing your personality and soul. Stick true to yourself and never waver. I know myself and i dont intend to let that me change. Even if shit does come with it. If the Lord inspires you and out of the overflow of your heart, you CANT HELP but go to the streets to scream and shout how Great the Lord is. Dont hold back. if you get arrested so be it. at least you know you have a soul of your own.

Tiny disclaimer: If your heart is not centred on God/Goodness if your a non-believer. and you intend to destroy the world because ur heart tells you so. this post does not apply to you. its best you lose your soul and walk around blindly like most of the adults in this world do. cheers.

sayonara

Met daryl yam and bert and went to the airport for dinner. we were going to see yuetong off for her studies in the US. we were playing smack it on yam's itouch on the mrt trip, it seems ridiculously short when ur engrossed in something.i know this is gay, but who says only girls take photos in toilets! rights equality man.
This is so funny, when we saw it from a distance we were like OMG we're gonna make the shop bankrupt, but it turns out its buy 4 get 1 free. LOL. dine for free. nice try.

what the heck is this doing in the airport? IN the airport. to attract foreign kids???
sanitiser in the LIFT. you have GOT to be kidding me.

when we saw the weighing machine we were REALLY high, so we were like what is this doing in the airport! i was thinking, maybe like if the person is too heavy, dont allow him to go on the plane. it turns out its to weigh the luggages. haha.

That hand belongs to kinshun. i.e. the reading is kinshun's weight. in Kilos.

i've seen some ridiculous ceiling designs in my lifetime. this ranks right up there.

lol i know Singapore's weather can get quite unbearable at times, but a fan this big is just ridiculous.

you see that semi circle thingy? its for jaden to stand on while pastor eric pushes ethan in the thingy.how cool is that.

Ethan ftw!

LATEST STOMP NEWS: two punks playing taptap in train like its their home.

Daryl pretending to sleep on a stranger "Bertrand". wanted to put this on STOMP as well.

we wanted to put this on STOMP and comment "Singaporean puts phone on seat to chop for friend"

Bye Yuetong! enjoy newyork!
i hate my home. if this is the way its going to be everyday, i rather spend my nights of the fucking streets.fucking blind.

2nd time you do the same thing, do you really believe in all that crap you talk about? damn, im trying but i just cant see your point of view. and we're supposed to learn from you. if you ideas of growing older means becoming more serious, solemn and a lifeless boring human being, then im sorry to disappoint cos im not going down that path. my ideas of growing up include solidifying your personality and not being wavered by this damn world. doesnt seem to apply to you.

i'm switching off. cos if i get affected by all this shit, i will only spiral further and further down. goodnight.

am i supposed to smile?

Each day i see you, i respect you less. you do what you have to do because of the responsibilities on your shoulders. but other than that, there's nothing you do that begets respect. i know im not supposed to feel this way. but im a human too. not just a Christian.

Blinded by anger, draped in pride
The mind says yes but the heart says no
help me Lord.

saturday fever.

Went to have lunch with yam at anchorpoint. This chawanmushi, from anchorpoint food court, is the worst i have ever eaten in my life, its just 1/5 steamed eggs and water.

look at the patterns above. yam said the wind blew it that way, then he said maybe people raked it that way. impossible. i say. crop circles.

Waiting before splash. yam and i stoning, joy and vanessa teaching chemistry. i wonder why the impression is that girls are more studious. i cant tell!

favourite drink now ftw
Today is YWAV seeker service! its like a fun service so non-believers can just come and have fun and stuff, today's one was wii gaming so there were like 4 sets all over the sanctuary and everybody was running around playing everything wii related from beijing olympics to rock band!
you say i have an obsessive compulsion to have the last say. wtf? have you spoken to yourself? You are the BEST role model for what is NOT meant to be.best ever.

i cant even look on the bright side anymore.cos theres no bright side to your obsessively big head.

jasmine joy daryl and i one team. lol yeah we super good sia. i was the drummer, i was like playing easy and i got 72%, the other 3 were doing medium or hard difficulty and all 3 were 96% and above. yup! im not bad. :D

i know im not perfect and i have pride in my heart but at least i know wtf my weaknesses are. and i fking put in effort to correct them.

wtf do you do?

my heart was right. its because i TURNED up that i know my heart was right. im sorry, i just cant agree with you this time. as disappointed as you might be, i just know that this time, we were not in the wrong.

The above behaviour is what you call the "i am leaving the country tml for studies so im high and drunk down" syndrome.

maybe because you heard the door bang so you thought it was us making the noise. i dont know about that, but wth did you hear talking? sure as hell wasnt me.

fine i was making noise when i walked in, but thats cos i thought it hadnt started yet. you're disappointed? so are we supposed to say sorry? cos im not. im sorry.

After the seeker service, went to IMM long beach restaurant for my mum's bday dinner!

cute eh. my bro did it.

This picture below is HILARIOUS, its a family restaurant, look at the packaging. weird huh.

Not in the mood to blog actually. the rest of the pictures, of many random people in ywav, are on facebook. i have not feel this way in a long long time. and i thought i was beginning to get my temper under control. this is so much worse, its just that im not showing it on the outside. goodnight.

Lord i have never needed as much help with my heart as i do now. i really really cant do it anymore. help me.

boredom makes you watch funny things.

i've watched these adverts a thousand times but i doubt many others have. so enjoy!

Did i do something wrong? Cos i really dont think i did.

When i woke up this morning. my body couldnt move. i felt like a tap on my head would send me body crashing to the ground. aching from head to toe. this is what happens when u play intense soccer for 5 hours, after not playing for 8 months.

after awhile i go so bored i took my camera and started taking random photos. i'm telling you my house is a gym. i used to have a treadmill. and theres a medicine ball which i didnt take picture of as well.

new com! yappy yaye yaye!
went to lot 1 to have lunch with yam. omg now that i think of it, i didnt take photos of my lunch! and im officially declaring mos burger's chicken 10 times nicer than KFC's. yes. officially.went to yam's house to chill after that. yam is really shy, as you can see from the above picture.

tsk no life ah. play xbox play until so engrossed. i was totally telling them to get a life man! sighhh...

at around 5 plus we left for church. yuetong is leaving for the US for studies so we were giving her a farewell party. like steamboat dinner in church. nothing like dinner in church. ;)

Liesel thinking to herself : OH! so thats how you pick up the corn! cool!

Chenxuan: yeah no problem ;)

Serene blinded by the light shining forth from me.

Epic. 5 mins before i took this photo, Gabby told me he was camera shy. true true. can tell.

Jenisse thinking to herself : hmm let me taste this beef to see if its really uncooked like daryl says it is. i truly believe i cooked it properly!

yam: so you see, caleb is cool and tintin's a fool.
liesel: what wisdom!

The above picture is one of the few times i saw joy eating the whole 3 hours. most of the time she was just serving. servant leadership ftw!i brought my camera so that I could have more pictures of me taken for a greater spectrum of pictures to choose from for my facebook profile picture. instead people take my camera and take pictures of THEMSELVES and the below picture is the ONLY picture of the day taken of me. omg. what is wrong with the world.

Yuetong(girl on the right), you have been a great addition ever since you joined JAM, wishing you a safe journey and a superb education in the States! dance ur life away!

i cant believe i cldnt even have a proper photo taken. today is a horrible day.

i'm really too high.Get a grip. oh did i mention, chue, yam, daryl and i went to play pool after the dinner. lets not talk about that.

Did i do something wrong? Cos i really dont think i did. There's no grey areas, only black and white, isnt that what we are taught? This IS white. No argument.

i think i'm doing pretty fine.i dont want it to remain, but its your will, not mine.